I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
