I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
