Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
