just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
