I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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