I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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