I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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