shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
