pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
