I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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