Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
