no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
