he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
