Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
