you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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