she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
