It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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