I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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