I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
