the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
