so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
