Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
