it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
