I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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