It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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