And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
