just tell him i said nine months
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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