ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
