I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
