i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
