my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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