you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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