those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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