Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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