you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
either way he was missing a nipple.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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