No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
