David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
