u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
