Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
