I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
