Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
