You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
