Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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