i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
