if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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