when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
