do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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