this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
