Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
