is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The air was thick with penises
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
