you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
