captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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